The Grain Valley Board of Aldermen were discussing some major issues in 1995. Included were the possible purchase of the Golden Strings Theater for a new City Hall, Police Department and Community Center; the possible purchase of the Valley Hills Golf Course on R. D. Mize Road, possible discussion of a water park swim center and other water facilities; and possible construction of a solid waste disposal plant.
     In 1995, Grain Valley had a population of 2,733 up from 1,890 in the 1990 census, an increase of 44% in the last five years. At the time O’Fallon, Missouri (near St. Louis) claimed to be the fastest growing city in the state with a 41 % increase. That is when Grain Valley realized they were growing!
     In 1994, overall building permits showed  $7.1 million in new residential and commercial construction. But through July 31, 1995, permits already totaled $7.7 million.
     Construction included $3.5 million for converting the Grain Valley Middle School into the first phase of Grain Valley High School which at the time had less than 400 students. And 1995 was when the first Casey’s General Store was built at a cost of $350,000.
     Some other happening in Grain Valley 25 years ago included:
     The Police Department received “Special Mention” for the decals on their police car from a contest sponsored by Law and Order magazine and the 3-M Company.
     After months of “talks” Grain Valley rejected a jail being built in our community.
     State Bank of Missouri purchased 9.8 acres of land from the Grain Valley School District at a cost of $230,000.  
     This allowed for construction of a new bank on land that was previously use by the school for their central office (In the old Armstrong Home), football stadium and bus garage.
     The following fall, Moody Murry Field was dedicated at the site of the new high school on Eagles’ Parkway.
     By 2000, the population had grown to just over 5,160 and by the 2010 census the population had reached 12,854.
 

     Healthy and Halloween typically don’t go hand in hand, but I assure you candy isn’t the only thing to get you into the spooky spirit.
     Transform your typical frightening foods into something fresh and hauntingly delicious while celebrating Halloween! But, before we get to the good stuff, let’s talk about some ways to ensure your household doesn’t go into a sugar coma come November 1.
 
Curb the Candy Craze:
     Reduce the temptation to snack while trick-or-treating by eating a balanced meal beforehand.
     Choose a smaller candy collector and encourage kids to take one piece of candy per house.
     Some houses may pass out trinkets, such as stickers or temporary tattoos. Others may have snack-size packages or popcorn, mixed nuts, or 100% read fruit leathers. Encourage your kids to look for something besides candy.
     Decorate oranges or bob for apples for fun, fall activities leading up to Halloween.
 
Trick or EKK - Too Much Sugar?
     Let your kids keep enough candy to have once piece for 1-2 weeks.
     Pair candy with a healthy snack, like an apple or celery with peanut butter.
“Buy back” candy from your child with tokens they can trade in for a fun activity: a day at the zoo, going ice skating, or an afternoon at the park.
     Use it for holiday baking or give it out with Valentine cards.
 
     Have no fear – you’ve got this. Let’s make Halloween fun, spooky and a little healthier, too.
 
The information is not intended as medical advice. Please consult a medical professional for individual advice.
 
 Megan Callahan is one of your Hy-Vee Corporate Dietitians. She is dedicated to helping people live healthier and happier lives. Megan received a bachelor’s degree in dietetics from Missouri State University. She completed her dietetic internship at the University of Kansas Medical Center, where she also received her Master of Science degree in dietetics and nutrition. Megan has been working with Hy-Vee full-time for 10 years. With a passion for nutrition and wellness, Megan is dedicated to educating customers and promoting healthy lifestyles to our Hy-Vee community. Megan lives in Lee’s Summit with her husband Matt, and their 2 children Kennedy (4) & Carsyn (2).
 

  
     During this COVID-19 year, teamwork has never been more important. Your Community Foundation has certainly had to call many audibles at the line of scrimmage to make our new initiative a success. Earlier this month, we gathered on Zoom with donors and friends of the Community Foundation for a Virtual Behind the Scenes event, focused on progress made by the Job Skills for New Careers initiative. 
     Teamwork was a central theme, highlighting the partnerships that have helped this program meet increased demand and continue to serve the community during this health and economic crisis.
     The Job Skills initiative’s goal is to break the cycle of poverty and provide a path to financial stability for our hard-working neighbors in Eastern Jackson County. Targeted to adults in low wage jobs with no benefits, this program connects them with training in fields that pay living wages and are in high demand in the region, including healthcare and skilled industrial trades. 
     We want to enable them to truly have a career and not just a job. We knew that we couldn’t accomplish this goal alone. The initiative is a strategic partnership with Community Services League (CSL), Mid-Continent Public Library and the University of Central Missouri (UCM), combining each organization’s unique assets.
     In addition to covering the cost of training, the program provides wraparound support services, including public benefits counseling and financial coaching that will help remove barriers that may prevent program participants from reaching their goals both during the program and for the future.
     Launching during a pandemic has brought unexpected challenges, but it’s also been a catalyst for new opportunities. When nursing homes and hospitals increased restrictions for visitors, students in the certified nursing assistant (CNA) program weren’t able to complete required practicum training hours. This led to important conversations and valuable partnerships with local healthcare employers.
     Now, partnering employers like John Knox Village hire CNA candidates prior to their training and ensure a successful job placement after graduation. This investment and  participation by employers is game changing and will allow us to scale this effort in ways we never imagined.
     As the coronavirus continues to impact our lives and economy, it’s clear that these types of partnerships are essential for the future of our community.
     Kick-started by $120,000 in support from Truman Heartland fundholders and a $60,000 grant from the Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation, even amidst the coronavirus storm, the Job Skills initiative helped 95 participants so far this year. As we approach the second year of the program, we anticipate demand to continue to grow.
     The lower income families that this program serves have been disproportionately impacted by COVID-19. In fact, many low-wage restaurant and retail employees - who were barely making ends meet before the pandemic – are still struggling to return to work. And while jobless rates have dropped in recent weeks, many labor economists argue that data doesn’t account for the people who have completely dropped out of the labor force, whether due to the current state of the job market or because of rising concerns about safety or childcare duties.
     This program helps people in this space and the segment of workers who have returned to work but are eager to make a change, find a career and start building a stronger future for their families. Join us in this effort by visiting www.thcf.org/job-skills to learn more about the Job Skills for New Careers initiative and ways to help.
     Truman Heartland Community Foundation, along with our partners, continues to explore new ways to leverage funding and opportunities to meet the needs of the community. If you work with organizations that support these at risk populations or know anyone who could benefit from this program, please share information about Job Skills for New Careers and encourage them to visit newskills.cslcares.org and complete a simple application. 
     Applications will be reviewed on a rolling basis with trainings starting soon. Help us spread the word about this program.
 
Phil Hanson is the President and CEO of Truman Heartland Community Foundation. Truman Heartland Community Foundation (THCF) is a 501(c)(3) public charity committed to improving the communities in and around Eastern Jackson County through cooperation with community members and donors. THCF serves the region with assets of more than $54 million and annual grants surpassing $4.8 million. For more information on charitable giving, visit www.thcf.org or call Truman Heartland at 816.836.8189.
 

     With a career that spanned four decades, and a school named in her honor, Essie M. Matthews is a name that won’t be forgotten. Anyone that has lived in Grain Valley, attended school in Grain Valley or has had a child go through the Grain Valley School system in the last 70 years must surely be familiar with her name.
     Mrs. Matthews came to Grain Valley in the fall of 1951 as the only 7th grade teacher. It would be safe to say the school was much smaller in those days. She became the elementary principal in 1958, but continued teaching 7th grade. In 1963, she also added freshman Civics to her busy schedule. In 1967, during my college days I did some substitute teaching over Christmas break.  It was Mrs. Matthews that hired me, and by that time she was a full-time principal, a position she held until her retirement in the early 1980s.
     In 1978, a $562,000 bond issue was used to complete the first phase of Matthews Elementary School. Not many people have buildings named for them. Almost no one works in a building named for themselves. Essie Matthews was the exception. 
     Essie Mildred Boone grew up in rural Lafayette County and attended Central Missouri State Teachers College in Warrensburg (now UCM). She began her teaching career at Weaver School near Odessa, and taught in rural Lafayette Schools five years. Four years in Colorado followed and then she came to Grain Valley.  She and her husband Calvin made their home in Odessa. So, while she never actually resided in our town, her contribution to the students and teachers of this community is still evident today. 
 

     Protein is critical to building and maintaining muscle mass. Despite what many think, athletes are not the only ones who need more protein. The elderly, those looking to lose fat mass, and the ill or injured have increased needs for protein too. There may be times you struggle with getting the protein you need in each day, which can happen to all of us.
     Which is why your Hy-Vee dietitian recommends using whole foods in conjunction with protein supplements like our Dietitian Pick of the Month:  Performance Inspired Whey Protein. One serving contains 25 grams of protein per scoop, plus it has probiotics and fiber to help with digestion and keep you  from feeling bloated.
     The current recommended daily allowance for protein is 0.36 grams per pound of body weight. However, there are many people who can benefit from adding more protein to their diet. A Hy-Vee dietitian is happy to help you determine how much protein per day is right for you.
 
3 Reasons to Consume Whey Protein:
 
     Building blocks: Whey is a complete protein, which means it contains all the essential amino acids our bodies cannot make on their own. These amino acids serve as the building blocks for new muscle.
     Hormonal impact: Whey protein causes the release of insulin, a key muscle-building hormone that helps drive nutrients into our cells. This spike in insulin helps feed our muscle cells and fuel recovery after physical activity.
     Leucine content: Whey is rich in this branched chain amino acid known to stimulate muscle protein synthesis or muscle building.
     If you’ve been cutting your calories to lose weight, there is a good chance you are losing muscle along with fat. However, studies show that eating more protein, or at least 0.5 – 0.8 grams per pound of body weight per day, in conjunction with resistance exercise, reduces the amount of muscle lost during dieting. This is especially important since more muscle burns more calories at rest.
     As we age there is a natural loss of muscle strength and function. Studies show that someone over the age of 65 needs more protein to maintain muscle and protein balance than someone who is younger.
     This may be because we become more resistant to muscle building as we age. Therefore, it is important for the aging population to continue weight training and increase their protein intake to 0.45 – 0.60 grams per pound of body weight per day.
     Performance Inspired Whey Protein powder isn’t just for a post-workout shake. This trustworthy protein product uses natural ingredients without any synthetic additives or fillers. The products are also gluten-free.
     Try mixing it in oatmeal for a high-protein breakfast choice, blending it into pancake mix for high-protein pancakes, adding it into a fruit smoothie for an antioxidant- and protein-packed snack, or mixing it with yogurt for an evening treat to aid in muscle protein synthesis overnight. No matter how you use it, you can feel good about giving your body the quality protein it needs.
 
The information is not intended as medical advice. Please consult a medical professional for individual advice.
 
    Megan Callahan is one of your Hy-Vee Corporate Dietitians. She is dedicated to helping people live healthier and happier lives. Megan received a bachelor’s degree in dietetics from Missouri State University. She completed her dietetic internship at the University of Kansas Medical Center, where she also received her Master of Science degree in dietetics and nutrition. Megan has been working with Hy-Vee full-time for 10 years. With a passion for nutrition and wellness, Megan is dedicated to educating customers and promoting healthy lifestyles to our Hy-Vee community. Megan lives in Lee’s Summit with her husband Matt, and their 2 children Kennedy (4) & Carsyn (2).
 
 

​     Whether there will be trick-or-treaters this year or not is unknown, but there is never a shortage of Halloween candy on the grocery store shelves. And, the temptation to pick up a bag or two or three of those chocolatey minis is hard to resist.
     Having these treats around the house can wreak havoc on your healthy eating pledge and without a plan in place, one small piece can quickly turn into a trash can of mini wrappers.
     But, don’t fret! You can still enjoy your favorite seasonal treats without ruining your progress towards your goals by following a few Dos and Don’ts:
 
     Do: Make a plan that fits
Maybe you have decided to allow yourself three small candies a day or just a treat before dinner. Or, maybe you count several out and place them in a plastic bag and when it runs out, you’re done. Whatever your plan, make sure that it works for you and your lifestyle. Don’t set yourself up for failure, and find what works for you the best.
 
     Don’t: Waste your time trying to pick a “healthy” candy:
     Organic? Low-fat? Sugar-free? It’s all candy and whether it has limited sugar or fat, doesn’t mean it’s any healthier. Eating a bunch of candy that you feel is a better choice may not satisfy your craving and you may just ending up eating even more and then giving in to what you really wanted all along. Pick the treat you want and enjoy it!
 
     Do: Store your treats where you can’t see them
     Out of sight really does mean out of mind. You’re less likely to grab a piece if it’s not right in front of you. Try storing it in a canister that you can’t see through or in a cabinet you don’t use very often. That way you will be seeking out the candy instead of the candy seeking you out.
 
     Don’t: Eat candy when you are hungry
     Treats should be just that—treats. If you are hungry you will overeat your goodies. Plan a healthy snack or dinner and eat your treat as finishing piece. Satisfy your craving not your hunger.
 
     Halloween should be a fun holiday and doesn’t need to wreck your plan. There are plenty of ways to enjoy the holiday without letting it derail your progress. What if you do overindulge? You’re human. It’s ok. Move on and continue with your healthy eating plan the next day. You’ll find your splurge didn’t really change much.
 
     Try this yummy Halloween treat:
 

     Wi-Fi has become an essential part of our digital lives that when you don't have access to it or have a weak signal it can leave you feeling frustrated and lost.  Dealing with weak Wi-Fi means you have to deal with the stress of kids who aren't able to learn distantly or play games.  It also means that you have to deal with slow loading websites and Zoom calls that freeze up or drop altogether. 
     A good solution to fixing Wi-Fi dead zones in your home is to get a wireless range extender.  The challenge is making sure you set them up to make them effective to reach all of the areas in your home.  Struggling with the concept of range extenders and how to set them up, check out my tips that will help you get a full signal throughout your home or office.
     What are Wi-Fi extenders? The best explanation of Wi-Fi range extenders is these are devices that take your current wireless signal in your home and extend it further than your router can reach. When installed properly, this allows all your smart devices such as your smartphones, laptops, tablets, and printers to communicate effectively.  
     The standard router is only designed to reach the area of a 2,500 square foot home or office and works best in open-air environments.  However, your home or office could have things that get in the way of your wireless that can disrupt and reflect your signals such as drywall, concrete walls, and ceilings. 
     You probably didn't know your appliances such as washing machines, microwaves, washing machines, and televisions send out electromagnetic waves that can play a major role in getting in the way of your Wi-Fi Signal. 
     Extenders can be a single device to extend your wireless signal or a group of devices that form a 'mesh' network that casts a Wi-Fi net of a wireless signal to reach all areas of your home or office.
     Weak wireless or slow internet? Many of you mistake slow Internet as weak Wi-Fi.  Check with your Internet provider first to make sure you are getting decent Internet speed.  Visit www.speedtest.net on your computer, smartphone or tablet while you are near your router to see what speeds you are getting. 
     If you are getting a download speed lower than 25 Megabits Per second, then you will experience issues with streaming movies, kids playing games and glitchy or dropped video calls. Sometimes an increase in Internet speed from your provider is all you need.  You also may have to switch providers if your current Internet provider can't offer you faster speeds.
     How can you find dead areas in your home or office?  Well, complaints from your kids and spouse are a good way, but an even simpler way is your smartphone. Your smartphone and the Speedtest.net app can help you identify those dead area. Once you get the app downloaded and you connect your phone to your Wi-Fi, do an initial speed test in the same room as your wireless router. 
     When the test is finished and you get an idea of how fast your wireless connection should be, take a walk around your home or office and pay attention to where the signal is weak.  Once you identify all of the weak and dead zones in your area, you can decide where to place your extenders, but first…
     The location of your router is very important. Just as if you were setting up a brick and mortar business, location is key for the placement of your wireless equipment.  If you have a single level home or office, you should have no issues with where to place your router and extender.  If your work or home area is multi-level, things get a little more complicated. When you set up your router, you want to try to make sure it's in a central location of your home or office. 
     A router that is in an attic or a basement can cause problems, especially if you have a multi-level home as the router's wireless signal has to travel through many walls. You need to make sure your router is also placed in an elevated location. Three feet or higher is the optimum level for your router.  I know you're probably tempted to place them on the floor to hide them, but that will do more harm than good.
     The location of your extenders is also important. When you set up your extender, you will need to make sure to place it within the range of the router. If you are creating a mesh Wi-Fi network, you want to make sure mesh connected items are within range of one another. 
     If at all possible, make sure you're placing your extender within the line of sight of your router.  If you're unable to do this and have to place them around corners or behind walls, make sure they are drywall and not plaster or concrete walls. You need to place your extenders at the same level as you would your routers.  
     Setting up Wi-Fi extenders can take a little trial and error to make sure you cover all of the areas of your home.  Also, when using extenders, understand that you will lose some speed as your extenders or mesh network is essentially repeating the signal from your router which can slow down your wireless connection. Once you get your extenders set up properly, you can relax and enjoy robust internet around your home or office.

Looking for More Useful Tech Tips?
     Our Tuesday Tech Tips Blog is released every Tuesday. If you like video tips, we LIVE STREAM new episodes of 'Computer and Tech Tips for Non-Tech People'  every Wednesday at 6:00 pm CST on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter.   Technology product reviews are posted every Thursday. You can view previous episodes on our YouTube channel.  

     Want to ask me a tech question? Send it to burton@callintegralnow.com. I love technology. I've read all of the manuals and I'm serious about making technology fun and easy to use for everyone.
     Need computer or technology help? If you need on-site or remote tech support for your Windows\Macintosh, computers, laptops, Android/Apple smartphone, tablets, printers, routers, smart home devices, and anything that connects to the Internet, please feel free to contact my team at Integral. Reach out to us a www.callintegralnow.com or phone at 888.256.0829.
 

     I grew up seeing Great-Grandpa Sanders and Uncle Dave’s cane mill in my aunt’s backyard. It is another one of those “old things” about which I wish I had asked more questions. I’m guessing that in the late 1800s nearly every farmer in Jackson County must have grown sorghum. I’m also guessing that granulated sugar might have been a luxury in those days.
     My grandmother always talked about using sorghum and molasses in recipes and a quick look through old recipes books verifies their use along with honey as the primary sweeteners in that time. While molasses is usually made from sugar cane or sugar beets, it is also possible to extract molasses, as well as sorghum, from the cane of the sorghum plant.
     Their cane mill received a patent on December 13, 1892 and the following statement could be found in a small pamphlet advertising.
 
     “While engaged in the manufacture of sorghum a few years back, we J. N. Sanders and D. C. Herrington, of Grain Valley, Mo., realized the very slow movement of our old crusher and the great amount of labor and time lost on account of its slowness.  Horses almost given out, sap run down and fire cooled many times during the day. People’s cane would stand stacked at the mill until hopes of ever getting it made up were almost lost.
     Many crops we failed to get for fear it would have to remain unworked until freezing weather, or that it might sour. With all the above-named disadvantages, our minds, of course, were naturally put to thinking of some plan to do away with the old troubles; and we succeeded in inventing a machine which we thought would be endorsed by the people, approved by the patent office and give universal satisfaction.
     So, with an output of a nice little sum of money and the forfeiture of considerable valuable time, we secured a patent of our invention which enables us to offer to the people of this immense can country, or the right of a mill, that will make investors rich.
     Our mill is simple, durable and very rapid, showy, honest and inexpensive. We have practically tested our machine and, therefore, can speak from actual experience.
     The mills we now have in use have a 12-inch roll and with an ordinary beam, from three and a half to four gallons sap can be crushed per minute, or from twenty to thirty tons of can per day. A cane mill of this kind is worth a farm.
     We are now ready to sell mill, entire, state or county rights, Correspondence solicited and considered care.
     For proof to what we have said first correspond with our endorsers. We are yours anxious to please.”
     Sanders & Herrington
     Grain Valley, Mo
 
     The advertising pamphlet contains over twenty testimonial letters.  Here are a couple of samples.  If you have driven around Grain Valley very much, you might recognize the names.
 
Grain Valley
February 22, 1894
​
     This certifies that the Sanders & Herrington Cane Mill, in my opinion, is the best mill on the market. It works with perfect satisfaction; high runner and does lots of work.    

Respectfully,
Jesiah Seymore
Grain Valley, 1894
 
     It has been my pleasure to travel through many of the sorghum states throughout the Union and have examined all the latest improved cane mils and think your mill will do double the amount of work with less draft on team and less work on feeder.  Its bearings, if properly adjusted, I consider perfect—but little friction.  I am
Yours,
Joe M. Potts
 
Visit the Grain Valley Historical Society to see the inside workings of the old mill along with the application, certificate and other legal papers and letters involved with securing of the patent.
 
 
 

     Before deciding what to wear, I checked my weather app. The high was a beautiful 72 degrees! It would just take a little while to get there. At the moment, it was in the mid 40s. Welcome to Missouri. I looked through my closet and decided that a short sleeve shirt would be the clothing of choice.
     Although I’m pretty cold natured, I would just suck it up for a few hours.
Leaving the house, I was slapped in the face by a brutal, cold wind. I began to regret my decision to wear the short sleeve, but there was no going back now. With a “brrr” I was reminded how much I disliked the wind and the cold.
     I was also dreading the inevitable: the impending winter. Thankfully, according to my trusty weather app, it looked like it was going to be pretty comfortable for the next week.
     According to the National Weather Service, an interest in calculating the weather can be traced back to our early history. The weather was also important to some of our Founding Fathers. While he was in Philadelphia, Thomas Jefferson purchased a thermometer from a local merchant.
     In his journal, he noted that on July 4, 1776, it was 76 degrees. I’m guessing he wore a short sleeve shirt. The desire and accuracy of forecasting the weather began to grow with the invention of the telegraph. At this point, you could communicate the weather “on line” (pun intended).
     Knowing what is happening with the weather is essential. It is for our convenience and our safety. How wonderful it is to be alerted of approaching storms, high winds, or artic air. Meteorology is a science, but one that contains many variables. We’ve all joked about wanting the job of a meteorologist. All you need to do is remember not to wear green and to be right about the forecast about 40% of the time. That’s about a coin toss.
     From what I’ve heard, you also have to be somewhat attractive. When I worked in radio years ago, I had a friend who told me that one of his professors in college encouraged him to go into a career in radio rather than TV meteorology because he didn’t have “the looks for the job.” He turned out to be very successful in radio, but was still fascinated by the study of weather and wondered along the way if he had “missed his calling.”
     Mankind has not always viewed weather as a science. Some of the ancients turned to mythology to help explain the mysterious. They invented terms like “Mother Nature” and “Old Man Winter.” The history of the term, Mother Nature, is somewhat confusing, but most believe it can be traced back to the Greeks.
     The Greek Goddess, Demeter, was over the harvest. She had a daughter named, Persephone. Because of Persephone’s great beauty, she caught the eye of Hades, god of the underworld. He was no gentleman and abducted her, taking her to the underworld to be his queen. She was less than thrilled.
     Her mother, Demeter was so distraught that she refused to allow any crops to grow upon the earth. The dire situation fell upon the ears of Zeus, ruler on Mount Olympus, and he interceded, forcing Hades to return Persephone to her anxious mother.
     All did not end well, though. Unfortunately, while in Hades, Persephone had eaten pomegranate seeds (the supposed food of the dead). Because of her actions, she was condemned to spend a part of each year with Hades in the underworld. Demeter gave us winter.
     The harsh and barren winter months are a reflection of a mother’s broken heart. The beautiful summer reflects the season when Persephone is able to return to her mother. Thus, the phrase, Mother Nature was born.
     Most people recognize, if not use, the term, Mother Nature. In fact, in the 1970s, there was a popular and humorous commercial on TV to promote Chiffon Margarine. In the commercial, Mother Nature appears and samples what she believes is real butter. Turns out, it’s not butter, but a synthetic substance known as margarine. She has been deceived and is not happy about it responding by saying, “it’s not nice to fool Mother Nature.”
     The history of the term, “Old Man Winter” has been around for a while too. Unfortunately, the origin of the phrase is even harder to uncover. The term is a personification of winter. It is believed that the term Old Man Winter also derived from Greek Mythology, although the history is not as clear.
     It seems that various cultures all had different names for the god of winter and eventually the specific names were dropped for the generic, Old Man Winter. His darker side is also known as Jack Frost.
    In an article for the Chicago Tribune, meteorologist Tom Skilling lists about a dozen Greco-Roman gods and demigods who have been fighting over the weather for quite some time. Can’t we just all get along?
     From my perspective, I avoid Mother Nature and Old Man Winter. It’s not personal, but theological. From a biblical view, I believe that these terms stealthily undermine and confuse the obvious. God is the maker and sustainer of the universe. Any attempt to assign the weather to anyone or anything else undermines his sovereign authority. God refers to this action is idolatry.
     As humans, we’re always trying to assign the unknown to the mysterious or attempting to measure and control through the avenue of science. But in the end, that job belongs to God alone.
     To his first century audience, Jesus said, “When it is evening, you say, ‘It will be fair weather, for the sky is red.’ And in the morning, ‘It will be stormy today, for the sky is red and threatening.’ You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times” (Matt 16:2-3).  Basically, Jesus is saying, “from time to time, you can discern the weather forecast, but you miss the really important stuff.”
     God alone is the author of creation and has authority over His created order. This was the message that Jesus was sending when He walked upon the water and then caused the wind to cease and the Sea of Galilee to be still. God can calm the storms of the sea and the storms of life.
     I respect the work of meteorologists and use my weather app frequently. But, I also recognize that, as humans, we only have so much control. God continually reminds me of that. Not too long ago, after checking the weather app, I headed to the office with the promise of clear skies.
     However, a rainstorm appeared, unannounced, and I without my umbrella. I smiled and acknowledged God’s sovereign rule over the universe. So, although it might not be nice to fool Mother Nature, it’s best to restrict her to mythology, abandon the term, and acknowledge Father God. It’s also a good idea to keep an umbrella handy just in case.
 
Dr. Wayne Geiger is Pastor of First Baptist Grain Valley, an Adjunct Professor of Speech, and freelance writer.
 
 

     As if COVID-19 hadn’t dealt us enough new challenges, the pandemic is taking place in an election season, which in and of itself is generally so distasteful that most of us turn our heads. The 24 hour news cycle has us almost unable to avoid seeing or hearing about the election. 
     It has me thinking from time to time, however, that maybe I missed my calling, and I should have been a politician.  While I really wouldn’t want to have debates or run a campaign, I would really like some of the parts of it—kissing babies, one of my all-time favorite things to do; attending dinners that other people prepare; expressing my opinion in long-winded diatribes that mostly no one will read or listen to; and attending inaugural balls in fancy dresses and big earrings.  If I only had a platform on which to run!
     The origin of the word platform comes from the French, who I don’t particularly love (here’s hoping that did not offend any of the Grain Valley News’ French readership—it’s just that you all are snotty). It literally means flat form and most likely referred originally to the boards that a candidate stood on to deliver his or her remarks at election time.
     I suppose my platform would have to include some foreign policy.  My first legislative effort would be to have everyone’s passport weight reduced significantly.  “Oh, you weigh 157?  I think you look more like 142,” the perky passport issuer would say, and the traveler would suddenly be thinner in stature. 
    Another significant foreign policy move would be to drastically reduce the price of flights to seasonally appropriate destinations.  Flying to the Bahamas in January?  $50 should get you there and back.  Last minute anniversary trip?  “Why yes, we can get you to Italy for a cozy dinner for two for about $100 a piece. Will that fit your budget?”
    Any good platform needs something about conceal and carry, I suppose, as well.  In the case of a middle to late middle age woman, the only conceal that is important is that of the bags under her eyes and age spots from teenage sun worshipping.
      In a brilliant stateswoman like move, I would provide way stations of various shades of concealers, placed right next to electric car charger stations, satisfying not only the woman who had little sleep the night before but those hoping to control automobile emissions.  Plug in and charge the car, grab a little squirt of concealer and apply it while waiting, as everyone knows the best mirror and light for discovering all your facial flaws is the rearview mirror of a car anyway.  
     Climate change has also been an area of great debate in politics the last few years.  Is the ozone layer actually thinning?  Do we have global warming, or is it just a hoax?  Let me assure you that any 50 something woman can tell you that she is having personal summers nearly every day, so global warming surely exists. 
    In my platform, women would be granted the right to have permanent control of the thermostat in any office or home setting.  Those who attempted to adjust the temperature without the permission of the HHWIC (Hot Head Woman in Charge—read that for her current temperature and not her attitude, although the two are often interrelated), would be automatically fined. The money from the fines could be applied as energy credits, and pay for most folks’ monthly energy bills.
    “Honey, the thermostat is set at 60 again.  We just cannot run the air conditioner in winter,” an unenlightened spouse might say. “Senate Bill Fahrenheit 451 actually says we can,” the HHWIC would respond and issue the fine.
    My Domestic Policy area would be one of great relief to the female sector, as well. Washer and dryer manufacturers would be required to have automated hands which reach out and poke offending family members when they mix bright colors and whites in a wash load, or attempt to dry something wool.
     Also in Domestic Policy areas, dogs would have more freedoms and more say in how things run. I once saw an episode of Judge Judy where she let a dog decide its own fate about who would own it, and ever since then, I have been fairly convinced they are about as smart as humans.
     As proof, I offer this: with few exceptions, dogs only “speak” when they have something really urgent to talk about, like the approach of a squirrel, mailman, or Amazon delivery; they don’t fuss too much about the meals they are served; and they go outside to use the bathroom, saving domestic goddesses tons of time not having to clean bathrooms. 
     If they really ruled the world, we would have to figure out how to stop everyone from sniffing other’s butts, or hiking our legs to mark our spots, but that is behavior I have seen politicians engage in anyway, and perhaps a column for another day.
     In my pup-based administration, in homes everywhere, family members would be excited to go on car rides. Naps would be done in sunny window wells. Friendships and political alliances could be formed just over who smelled the most like steak that day.
     My platform’s health care policy would have a great deal of focus on “cankles,” the area where our calves connect to our ankles.  Research labs around the states would look into reducing swelling in that area, creating happier women, in turn creating a happier everybody.
     On the education front, I would insist upon a common sense curriculum, something which seems to be missing today in our country. In fact the phrase common sense seems to be a bit ironic, since as Voltaire said, “Common sense is not that common.”
   The curriculum would include things like when you open a drawer, shut a drawer, or if you drink the last bit of milk, don’t put the empty carton back in the fridge. 
    The bulk of the curriculum would focus on our youth, who perhaps still have time to be saved, as I have primarily give up on adults. The online textbook title would be, “What My Mom Would Do in this Case and Why She is Right,” followed by resources lessons titled, “Yes, Mom Did Tell Me That and I Didn’t Listen” and “Thank You, Mom, for Your Good Advice.”
    The cause and effect lessons with video demonstrations would be called “Damp Towels on the Floor Create Mold” and “Hot French Fries Can Burn Your Tongue.”
    Finally, no platform would be complete without at least a nod to economics.  I read once that individuals can improve the economy with just small acts, like purchasing from a local entrepreneur once a week, outsourcing when you can, and investing in what you believe in.  Clearly those are all tied together for me in the restaurant industry.
     To improve the economy, I will propose that we order carryout from a local restaurant once a week, outsource our cooking to a local catering company, and purchase stock in donut stores.  So simple and yet so effective!
      If my “manifesto” seems a little shallow to you, remember that it is all in fun, unlike the very serious decisions we have ahead of us in the coming weeks in our country’s election.  Vote wisely, but whatever you do, VOTE!
 
Cathy is a retired public school English teacher and Public Information Officer.